Sometimes I call Auckland, 'Auckwardland' because on a normal occasion, I get completely LOST. Yep you'd think that a map, some big green signs and even an intelligent husband can get you anywhere in the Big Smoke - but not me.
Awkward moments happen all the time in my life. It makes it interesting, embarrassing, funny and annoying - sometimes all at the same time. So here are a few true life awkward moments that I am sharing, for free, because well, if it makes you laugh or warns you to never get yourself in that same situation, then my friend I have made a difference in your life.
Please feel the freedom to share your awkward moments with me.
It's awkward when:
~someone who doesn't know you very well is one of those 'touchy' people and comes up and gives you a hug from behind!
~you're trying to keep a conversation going with a person you don't know, but their answer to everything is 'yep' or 'na'.
~you tell someone whose husband has just past away to 'have a good weekend' (what was I thinking!?)
~you call somebody 'mum' or 'dad' and you look up and it's a stranger
~somebody waves at you and you wave back only to realise they were waving at the person behind you
~you hit puberty, go to a ballet lesson and stink out the whole room because you forgot to put deoderant on
~the joke you tell over and over again is only funny to you
~you pop the zip of your jeans but only realise after you've done a full dance routine infront of 30 kids (true story)
~the love of your life first asks if he can hold your hand and you freak out and say nothing
~you try to remove a beaping smoke alarm in a motel only to set off the main fire alarm in the building, evacuating every occupant at the grand hour of 11pm
~you cradle a baby in your arms which isn't wearing a nappy and it pees all over you
~you mess popcorn down your top and in an attempt to free yourself from the ticklish sensation, you knock a whole box of popcorn over your fiance's crotch
~you sit down at the movies in a hurry and you put your entire hand into someone elses ice cold coke drink
~you get to sing at your school ball but end up lip-sinking to your demo cd
~you're having a burping contest with a group of friends in class and when it's your turn you let out a mighty ripper just as the class goes quiet
~you're writing one of your first stories at school and in your story you mention the fact that your teacher has a fat bum
~you have to do an impromptu performance on stage for drama and all you can think of doing is walking across the stage and pretending that you've just stood in dog poo
~you're just about to do a music performance exam and while eating McDonalds you mess catchup all over your lap
~to be continued.....
The days are long...
3 days ago