Shoulda Coulda Woulda Didn't...

A friend reminded me of this story I shared once upon a twice a few years ago at Zealchurch. So I thought I'd share it here for all of those people who can look back at a time in their lives when there was a 'shoulda coulda woulda, but didn't' moment.

Sigh, if only I could go back in time, but 'tsk tsk' I cannot....

I was an ordinary 5 year old living in South Africa, East London. We had a favourite dairy that mom and dad would take us to, to buy a treat or just the normal bread and milk. Now in South Africa it is not uncommon to see beggars and lame people at supermarkets asking for money. And on one dairy outing, I saw an old man in a wheelchair sitting right by the door of the shop. He had no legs, and just sat there the whole day.

My heart went out to him and I wanted to give him some money, so I started saving. I can't remember if it was a month's worth of pocket money or the generosity of my parents but I managed to put together about R5.00 (5 rand = about $1 these days).

Great! I had some money to give to this poor man and now all I had to do was get to the dairy. My master plan was to tell him that Jesus loved him, give him the money and then go.

So on our next trip to the dairy my grand mission of "give money to wheelchair man" had begun. I must say that I was nervous! I had never done anything this brave before and so on the way to the shop I rehearsed in my head how it would all go.

We arrived and sure enough there sat the old man. All alone. Thin as can be with a look of pleading in his eyes.

I sat frozen in my carseat.

I decided to just sit for a bit and psych myself up.

My family went inside the shop while I gathered all the courage I could muster.

I then decided to get out of the car. That would be the next big step.

I then decided that it would probably be better if I went into the dairy. That way I was closer to the man sitting just outside.

I went inside and joined my family.

The wheelchair man remained at his post.

I held my money in my little hand and then...........






I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON CHOCOLATE!!!!

That was my 'shoulda coulda woulda didn't' moment. I never saw that man again. I sometimes think "what if' I had gone through with my plan?" Could a little 5 year old change a man's life by a simple kind gesture? I'm sure there would have been an impact, but I'll never know.

I went to the dairy that day with the intention to give something away. And while I never did, I know that God saw my heart and my genuine concern for the 'wheelchair man'. Does God bless good intentions if we don't follow through with them? I'll leave that question open for your comments below.

I do know that now I am more obedient when I feel to give to others. Sometimes it's inconvenient. Sometimes I'm the one who goes without. But it's better to be obedient, then to sacrifice.

I read the story in Luke the other day about "Feeding the Five Thousand." And while this is such a well known story about the 5 loaves and 2 fishes feeding thousands of people, I saw something new.

Now I don't know if the boy who gave his food to Jesus had packed it to last him for the whole day. Maybe he was a big eater - 5 loaves and 2 fishes?!! My thoughts on this was "Man that seems like a lot of food for one individual, maybe he packed extra food that day with the intention to share it with someone?"

Just my thoughts anyway. But if I'm right about this, then this boy went with the intention to give. And when he gave look at the amazing outcome!

We can choose to live a life ready to share what we have. Ready to give. Or we can spend all our money on chocolate!